"Have you ever been in love?", he asked while looking directly into my eyes with his night sky colored eyes. I think if I stare at it hard enough I could make up constellations in his eyes. 

"I don't think I've ever been in love", I said with such confidence but deep down still hoping he'd see the vulnerability in my eyes that I was in love with him. 

"Uh yea?"

"Yea"

"Cmon not even once? High school crush? Neighbourhood hottie?", he asked. Why was he so curious God dammit?

"Well yea duh but I wouldn't call it love. It's not worthy enough to be called love", yea they weren't. 

"What's love then?"

"Love is something you'd never forget and it'd never end. Love is pain, happiness, raw, vulnerability all together. If you can get over it within a year or two, it's not love. It's just something that wasn't meant to be", love is staying up all night contemplating about whether if it's love or not, love is something that makes you want to stay alive just to see how things ends, love is loving you. 

"Nu uh, I disagree with you," he smirks as he turned away just enough for the sunlight to hit his face & make the scar he made when he was five visible. I never noticed how it looks like a clover leaf. 

"I've been in love, tone of times in fact", he pauses. 

"I fell in love with this rack in the public library which had loads of interesting booms. I fell in love with the meat vendor who fed that pregnant cat outside his shop some unused meat. I fell in love with the old couple who took pictures in the park like it was their honeymoon. I fell in love with the moment I met you", i blushed. 

He continues,"love doesn't necessarily mean attracted to the opposite gender and have desires to spend the rest of your life with"

"Love is everywhere"

It makes me wonder where we'll be a year from now, who we are to each other. I'm not technically over you yet. I'm not done adoring you yet. Probably at times I do lie to myself that I have or maybe for a moment I have but every time we talk, I can't exactly say sparks fly, but I don't know, I just don't want it to end. 

I'm not sure how I'd react if I find out you ended up with someone other than me. A part of me says I'm not really for that yet. I'll probably be okay with it or mad at you for how treated me or maybe mad at myself for expecting something to actually go my way for once. 

At the same time I don't really wanna be with you, yet. I'm not ready for you. You're like a human sculpture of magestic. Too much beauty in you that I know I could never be ready for. I'm hoping you'd end up with the girl of your dreams. 

On nights I feel the luckiest, I wish I was the girl of your dreams. I'd make up scenarios in my head of us. I want to unravel that beauty of yours. 

Ready or not, in love or not, I just can't seem to stop writing about you. That has to mean something. 

We talked again tonight. We've never had a solid conversation in such a long time or have we even had one? It was always the "I miss you's" or the "take care's" or the goodnight texts. I mean it's nice but what does it mean? We always have short conversations unlike last time. Last time we would talk for hours and I still didn't care if it was about the love of your life at least we talked about something. I crave those type of conversations where everything just comes out naturally like I just say the first thing that pops on my mind. I don't have to stare at your text for hours and think of a good reply. I hate that. I wish we could talk about anything and everything and I really wished you'd sound more interested in talking to me