DAY 239

I told a lot of people about you, people I was close to. I told them how I loved you, how you almost loved me back. I told them in details and while in tears. 

A year or so has passed you and the thought of you still lingers in my head. Not in an unhealthy way or anything, you're just there. Certain things don't remind me of you anymore. They're just inanimate objects now. 

Sometimes I think about reaching out to you again. Why? for a lot of reasons. I see myself changed after you. Not in obvious ways but in small details that took me a while to finally see. I find it hard to fall for someone now. Not because I've not moved on or anything. I just find hard to develop feelings. Even if I do, it's temporary. 

I don't know my worth anymore. A friend came to me to seek advice about a boy who only goes to her when he needs attention. She said she's been in a relationship with a man who's treated her better. While I said I'd stay. I told her you did something similar and I stayed. With you, it was probably one of the worst years of my life but it was the only time I ever felt alive. 

I guess what people say about you never really stop loving someone. You'll either love them less and you never loved them at all. I guess there's still a little bit of you in me.