Adulthood is weird. Well being eighteen feels weird. You feel stuck. It's been only two weeks since I've turned eighteen yet things felt like it changed drastically. 

People start to treat you differently. Your friends might fool around and say you're finally legal but being in this country and and thinking what type of person I am, I don't think being legal makes a difference. 

Adults treat you differently. You're expected to know better, the right and wrong but at the same time you're still treated like a kid. 

I dont know about everyone else but turning eighteen made me question everything, myself mostly. Is it something worth doing? Are they worth thinking about? Being eighteen makes you understand the concept of "less is more" even more. 

I guess being eighteen is the part of the journey you know. The mysteriousness and the curiosity out of you. I guess one day I'm gonna look back and wish I could stay eighteen forever. 

The thing about change is that it's inevitable. People, weather, practically everything changes. Some might be obvious like a haircut, loss of weight, maybe. Sometimes people even choose to ignore it like the fact the person you love suddenly doesn't love you anymore. 

I grew up being realistic. Am not quite fond of being predictable but isn't exactly embracing change either. Just, realistic. Things like that are bound to happen and I had that mentality buried deep in the core of my brain. And to my surprise, I was okay with it. 

I was okay with losing people, moving away, a change of someone's heart. I did not know how I mentally cope with it but looking back at it, it felt like I was doing fine. 

Like I said, change is something that's bound to happen, and so I did. I started fearing it. It got the best of me and made me self conscious. Made me question the things I do or the things I say. 

On my good days, I'm grateful. Grateful for how much I've progressed since the past few years, how much I've changed. On my bad days, I'm obsessive over how things are, makes me even more grateful for it and hoping to God nothing ever changes. 

Things have been great lately. Too great to the point where I don't know how to let go. And soon along comes adulthood and God knows what's waiting to be happened. A part of me wants to stay, stay here where things are fine. Other part of me needs to let go and move on.