If I ever lost myself again, find myself in tears with bloody hands and the urge to write, this would be my suicide note.
“It’ll be too cliche and to be honest if I started this letter “By the time you’re reading this, I would be dead” but there’s no lies to that and it is true, by the time you’re reading this, I will be dead, whoever you are.
This was never an act of selfishness or foolishness. It was an act of bravery I presume and out of hope. My intentions were never to hurt anyone or give them the satisfaction that Im no longer around.
I couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t the people at school or the condition at home, they were fine. It was just me. I couldn’t stand being me anymore. The paranoia and the anxiety were consuming too much of myself to the point I couldn’t recognize the person I see in the mirror.
I didn’t know how I looked like in the eyes of someone else. Was I too great of an actor playing the role of someone who knows exactly what theyre doing in life or does my depression shows on my skin like a tattoo that could only be removed through painful surgery? I guess you get to decide that.
I did not love myself as much as I shouldve. All that love were given bit by bit to the people who probably doesnt deserve it. I respected myself but not enough to stop myself from writing this letter.
One thing that took me too long to realize was you should never let someone else be the reason to stay alive. Wake up and be thankful for being alive because of yourself, not someone else.
Regrets and tears would be useless by this time. I got I want now, you can move on. Remember me as someone who always gets what they want, not someone who was so sick for being themselves.”
For those who are suffering from depression or any type of mental illness please know that there’s always another option even when you feel like theres not. Im always free to talk to and heres a list of suicide hotline numbers from all over the world.
² Albania 127
² Algeria 0021 3983 2000 58
² Argentina (054-011) 4758 2554
² Australia 1-800-273-8255
² Austria 142
² Bahamas 328-0922 / 322-4999 /322-2763
² Bahrain 0097 161 199 188/ 0097 161 199 260 / 0097 161 199 191 / 0097 161 199 334
² Barbados (246) 42 99 999
² Belgium 106
² Bolivia 00 591 4 4 25 42 42
² Bostwana 3911270
² Brazil +55 51 211 2888
² Canada 514-723-4000
² China 0800-810-1117
² Colombia (00 57 5) 372 27 27
² Costa Rica 506-253-5439
² Croatia (01) 4833-888
² Cuba 532 348 14 49
² Cyprus +357 77 77 72 67
² Denmark +45 70 201 20
² Ecuador 593 2 6000 477
² Eqypt 762 1602/3
² Estonia 126 /127
² Fiji (0679) 670565
² Finland 040-5032199
² France +33 951 11 61 30
² Germany 0800 1110 222
² Ghana 233 244 846 701
² Greece 1018
² Guatemala 1-800-999-9999
² Guyana +592 223-0001, 223-0009, 600-7896, 623-4444
² Honduras (00 504) 2558 08 08 /2232-1314
² Hong Kong 2389 2222 /2382 0000
² Hungary (46) 323 888
² India 2549 7777
² Iran 1480
² Israel 1201
² Italy 800 86 00 22
² Jamaica 930 – 1152 / 1-888-429-KARE (5273)
² Japan +81 (0) 3 5286 9090
² Kenya +254 20 300 0378/205 1323
² Latvia 371 67222922
² Liberia 06534308
² Lithuania 8-800 2 8888
² Luxembourg 454545
² Malaysia (063) 928 500 39
² Malta 179
² Mauritius 46 48 889 Befrienders
² Mexico 525-510-2550
² Namibia 61-232-221
² Netherlands 0900-113 0 113
² New Zealand 0800 543 354
² Nicaragua 2311-7361
² Norway +47 815 33 300
² Papua New Guinea 675 326 0011 (Daytime only)
² Peru (00 51 1) 273 8026
² Philippines (02) 8969191 /893 7606
² Poland 52 70 000 /52 70 988
² Portugal (+351) 225 50 60 70
² Russia 007 (8202) 577-577
² Samoa 32000 Samoa Lifeline
² Serbia 037 23 025
² Singapore 1800 221 4444
² South Africa 0861 322 322 Lifeline South Africa
² South Korea (02) 715 8600
² Spain 0145 900 50
² Sri Lanka 011 057 2222662
² St. Vincent (784) 456 1044
² Sudan (249) 11-555-253
² Sweden (46) 31 711 2400
² Switzerland 143
² Thailand (02) 713-6793
² Tonga 23000 /25144
² Trinidad & Tobago (868) 645 2800
² Turkey 182
² UK & Ireland +44 8457 90 90 90 Samaritans
² Ukraine 058
² USA 1-800-273-TALK(8255) Suicide Prevention Lifeline
² Venezuela 0241-8433308
² Zimbabwe (9) 650 00
