On 5th October I came out. There’s no other way of putting it. It was an ice breaking session and it happened, infront of 34 people I barely knew. Some were supportive (they were dabbing) but mostly probably didn’t know what pansexual meant based on their faces.
I showed signs when I was younger but back then we didn’t have terms like pans or bis so I had no other way but to surpress it. Back then you are either straight or not, there’s no in between.
Its funny how I managed to keep it together for 11 years since all I ever surrounded was with girls. The minute a friend told me who she was I started questioning everything and started to look at things differently. It started to answer a few of unsolved questions I’ve been wondering about all my life. Some call it culture shock. I mean they’re not wrong though. It probably is, Im still unsure of it.
But what Im sure of is how people acted around me afterwards. Some wanted to be me, others look at me as if if sin were a person, it would be me.
I wish it was easier to say that I was more inclined to one gender. Im just in the middle, in a gray area like my life isnt confusing enough. But I guess I just have to learn that there isnt any exact explanation for who I am and there will never be.
