I realize that i can’t always be surrounded by a group of friends that I genuinely like because at some point of our friendship i somehow always manage to find something that irks me about them. I’m not saying that it’s their fault, I know that I am the problem. And in some other lifetime or reality i would have someone professionally tell me that it’s just some defense mechanism due to trauma but i just believe that i am unable to truly connect with someone. I know life is all about co dependency but I’ve always wanted to do things on my own and now that I possibly might not need to, I’m coming up with reasons that is sabotaging myself.