This is when i start to write again

so i guess this is when i start to write again, when i dont know what to do or who to say it to. this is the kind of ache that makes my heart beat so fast that my chest physically hurts. 

i have to go. i always wanted to, but apart of me wanted to bring you too. this isn't goodbye, but it isn't exactly "i'll see you soon" either. This is just another door closing. I know this door will disappear and I'll be okay again, waiting for another door to open. But I don't want to close this door, I want to be on the other side. The other side has happiness, laughter and even sadness. But this side, this side is just sadness. 

All the bridges built has crumbled in front of my eyes. The ones I thought that I'll bring along with me to my future, it destroyed before me and there's nothing I can do. 

And then there's you, oh god you. I don't think I'll ever find another you. I'll just be looking for you. But me, you will find another me.