day 56 of quarantine: I'm okay, until my mind decides I'm not.

constantly living in the past. my mind keeps blaming the people that are no longer in my life anymore, reliving the pain over and over again. I'm okay, until my mind decides I'm not. It's not what's happening now, it's about everything that happened, good or bad. I tend to go back to whatever that broke me. Not physically but mentally, and sometimes I just feel like that's worst. And i'm terribly sorry. I'm terribly sorry to the people who care. To the people who constantly wonder about what I'm going through. it's not that I don't want you to, I just feel like it's a waste of time and energy to be curious of what is happening. Every question would only be answered with "it's nothing". but zero question will only be added to the disastrous train of thoughts.