Day 63: Greedy or Grateful
I am blessed. Truly am. But I also truly realise I say that only to forget about it not later than 24 hours. I never act on it, would just have an overwhelming feeling about it, probably question my thoughts and decisions for the past five days and that’s it, nothing more. I guess this would be the time to say I wouldn’t know how to act upon it other than acknowledging it every three to five business days. I express it to the people I care about and cherish but what I act out don’t feel as overwhelming as how my heart and mind is at peace.
And let’s not forget about how I tend to be a little careless and end up making decisions that don’t seemed as grateful as I was five minutes ago. I just need to know am I lingering too long on thoughts of this, or is it the same for everyone else? I sometimes feel like it’s just a lie I tell myself to keep me grounded. Maybe I’m not truly grateful and I’m just as greedy as everyone else.
But it’s not, i know it’s not. I have so many things to love, so many hugs to give my friends, so many gratitude to express. But sometimes, most of the times, those intentions would trail off and evil thoughts would take place. And I need someone to tell me that’s okay. I need to tell myself it’s okay. It’s not greedy for wanting more once in awhile, for feeling you deserve more. It’s not ungrateful to not compare yourself to the less fortunate every now and then. It’s just you, to not let it take control you, to not let it forget who you are, it’s you.
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spilling my heart out
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