The Depression Era

2013 to 2016 was a dark moment for me. It was honestly a blur and I can't specifically remember what was wrong but all I know is it was a time I wish not to go back to. 

I wasn't myself or maybe it was something bad that has latched on to me and it became a part of me. I hated myself. Don't get me wrong, there were days I had fun, but it those days cannot be compared with the bad ones. 

And truth be told, I had no one. My friends weren't much help because they didn't know entirely. At school, I was with them, I was fine. But at home I'm left alone. 

I was young and I didn't know how to cope with it. I only found contentment in self destructions. My parents' ways of handling it is by only threatening. And that made it worse. 

I was in love back then. It wasn't the right moment but it kept me sane. It was a boon and a bane. Being in love was one of the reasons I couldn't get myself out of the situation just because I wasn't loved back. 

I couldn't be alone but there was no one I trust enough to let them see how bad I was. Even now. It felt like a black hole that kept sucking me in. I only got out of it because I made myself. 

I had myself and only that. And I'm proud of that but at the same time sad about it. I had to suffer alone and some people only knew bits and pieces of my suffering. "It'll be okay" was the only thing my friends were able to tell me. 

I no longer feel that way although some days I feel like I'm going back, but I never want to. I refuse. I promise myself not get that low and learned if I do, there's something that has to be done.