SEMESTER FIVE

Semester five only reminds me of being tired and tears. Tears of joy, tears of heartbreak, I felt them both. Tears of joy was probably the highlight of 2018. I worked so fucking hard for something and I got what I deserved.

Then there's the tears of heartbreak. Something I forgot how it feels like. I forgot how much it made me wanted to die. My friends never fail to disappoint me. As saddening as it sounds, that's how they are,and Im still friends with them.

Then there's the boy I speak highly off last semester. Him. I truly ran out of words for him. Thinking of him only brings me to tears. I even force myself to be angry at him but i cant. I just cant.

I miss him. so bad. He doesnt even look for me anymore but when i do, he talks to me as if im just one of  his followers. I would know because i used to be only that, and now im back to square one. I dont fucking know what to do anymore. I was doing so fucking fine.