Thoughts #6

I feel stuck, and I mean that in the most depressing imaginable. Unlike six months ago when things were so great. When I actually felt like I had my shit together. Now I feel like every ounce of happiness, contentment and positivity has been sucked out of me. I feel happy, don't get me wrong. I know what happiness is but only on certain days, with certain people. 

Six months ago I felt nothing but, what's another word for contentment? Well I felt more than that and never in my life have I ever felt so grateful that things are going my way. It was a good year. 

And just like any other great things, it had to end. It's probably nothing but my old self was resurfacing. It's as if I could see myself standing so still while everything else was moving forward, as life around me was moving forward but I was just there, alone and still. I started noticing the slightest change and it sometimes kept me up at night. It'd make me so depressed to the point that I feel nothing but emptiness and it's awful. 

I'm trying to find away to fix this. To fix myself mostly, I swear. I don't want to be this way. I want to be grateful, happy and enough. I will get through this, I just need someone to tell me that everyday.