thirsty hearts

having a love affair with the sun

I want to apologise, for a lot of things but mostly my flaws. I apologise for my constant bad days that leave you hazy. To point that I don’t realise you were going through one of your own bad days. I apologise for always looking at the big picture when I was supposed to look at the details which are the small things you would do for me instead of any ridiculous big gestures. I appreciate the times when you know what to do at times I myself don’t, saying the right things at the right time. I apologise if my mind tend to think of bad things about you just to give myself a reason to give up on you. But I promise you at the end of the day after every bad thought, after every bad moves, i assure you i will always end up convincing myself how good of a person you are to me.

I wasn’t fully happy then, I am not fully happy now. The feelings there, just on different levels. Really makes me think that we’ll never truly be happy and chasing it would be pointless and that, makes me sad and hopeless. 

Temporary happiness is everywhere, getting food when you’re hungry, getting paid when you’re broke, given attention when you’re needy. But what’s the permanent one though? Getting married to the love of your life only to have marital problems? To cure your mental issues only to have pills to swallow? 

I guess I’m just trying to say your happiness depends on the moment you’re living. And at the moment I want to die. 


I may have noticed this before but I am saying this now, I’ve unlocked every version of myself. The faulty ones that need fixing, the best ones that you want to keep forever and even the unlimited ones that not many has used. My past or maybe even future self would not agree with this but my present self feels like this is the time. 

I’m in a dilemma of feelings, as usual. I feel great but my mind keeps convincing me that I’m not. What does this mean? I’ve lost that lack of skills to write or even be interested in anything or anyone anymore. One moment my guilt would take over and convince me to apologise on everyone on the face of earth, and the next I would force to forgive myself first even if I don’t deserve it. 

My writings have always been about someone or constantly feeling confused or stuck in between something, and that just shows I have not grown. On my good days I’d like to believe that I have but then I would convince myself that I wouldn’t have to if I’m in the right place. 

I no longer feel like I don’t need him. I just hope that every versions of myself unlocked him something worth keeping. I admit on days I am angry the most is only because of myself, never him. He is good for me, he is therapy for me, he is the only one that makes me forget that I am not sick. 


This anger will latch on to me until the day I day. For everyone who did me dirty. For myself for not knowing better. For the times guilt took over me. For everything bad that brought me here. Sadly. 


I am blessed. Truly am. But I also truly realise I say that only to forget about it not later than 24 hours. I never act on it, would just have an overwhelming feeling about it, probably question my thoughts and decisions for the past five days and that’s it, nothing more. I guess this would be the time to say I wouldn’t know how to act upon it other than acknowledging it every three to five business days. I express it to the people I care about and cherish but what I act out don’t feel as overwhelming as how my heart and mind is at peace. 

And let’s not forget about how I tend to be a little careless and end up making decisions that don’t seemed as grateful as I was five minutes ago. I just need to know am I lingering too long on thoughts of this, or is it the same for everyone else? I sometimes feel like it’s just a lie I tell myself to keep me grounded. Maybe I’m not truly grateful and I’m just as greedy as everyone else. 

But it’s not, i know it’s not. I have so many things to love, so many hugs to give my friends, so many gratitude to express. But sometimes, most of the times, those intentions would trail off and evil thoughts would take place. And I need someone to tell me that’s okay. I need to tell myself it’s okay. It’s not greedy for wanting more once in awhile, for feeling you deserve more. It’s not ungrateful to not compare yourself to the less fortunate every now and then. It’s just you, to not let it take control you, to not let it forget who you are, it’s you. 






I dread for the day when I no longer need you. When I stop saying good things about you, when I stop talking about you at all. You’ve given me good things to think about and cherish, but it would be a lie to say that most of the things I would be remembering aren’t the bad moments. 

I cannot entirely blame you. Most of it is my fault. I’ve been hurting myself all this while with false hopes and maybe too much confidence for myself. I saw signs from and and myself, and I ignored, and that’s on me. 

But i just wish you would’ve tried harder, as hard as i did. So when we both fall, I wouldn’t be the only one hurt, shows that I was below you all this while. 

I would say a 9??? i was having a rough morning because i had to prepare for my debate assessment, and it was hard to get some privacy, even for school stuff!! but i managed and i was so so nervous for my debate because a) i did not practice at all (even though the night before my team literally exhanged points with the opposition team) and b) i was given the role that did not have much to say so i was disappointed :// but it all worked out because i improvised and i was quite satisfied. i slept the rest of the day and at night i dyed my hair!! it turned out uneven but i still love it

"They were made, perfectly, to love each other but if only they were not so so scared to love eahc other."

This sounded beautiful yet heartbreaking at the same time. The movies never told us the truth about reality. The worst lovers ever had to go through were not being able to be with each other, but soon will find their way in the end. Let's talk about those who do not fine their way, it just ends. 

Certain pairs are just not destined to be with each other. and sometimes even they know it. they spend the rest of their lives getting to know each other's worst nightmare, getting to know every hand gestures that's followed by a smile, only to end up not being with other.

what was the point of it all? was it just to waste time? or was it for self improvement? aren't there any less painful way to figure out that some parts of you are just too darker than others? i know one should never question the maps of fate, where it leads you, but when you bump into too many stops signs that are there only to delay you, not to bring you to your destination, you kinda have to question the map you are following don't you?

constantly living in the past. my mind keeps blaming the people that are no longer in my life anymore, reliving the pain over and over again. I'm okay, until my mind decides I'm not. It's not what's happening now, it's about everything that happened, good or bad. I tend to go back to whatever that broke me. Not physically but mentally, and sometimes I just feel like that's worst. And i'm terribly sorry. I'm terribly sorry to the people who care. To the people who constantly wonder about what I'm going through. it's not that I don't want you to, I just feel like it's a waste of time and energy to be curious of what is happening. Every question would only be answered with "it's nothing". but zero question will only be added to the disastrous train of thoughts.


I guess tonight made me a little more grateful. It made me realise it’s the tiniest things that make me forget myself, only needing a smaller reminder get myself on track. And for that i am grateful these feelings i have forgotten. Those feelings that were clouded by self doubt and irrationality. I really wanna love more, myself mostly. And i need these reminders whenever feel like im sinking back into a black hole created by my own thoughts. 


One day i will look back and no longer feel sad again. I will no longer be afraid of losing someone anymore. I will no longer hate myself for someone else anymore. I don’t wish for it to end, i just wish to not feel anything anymore. One day i will look back and no longer be this happy again, but i will also be no longer in pain. 


You never meant that much to me, well not at the moment at least but the fact that it ended just made me questioned all the what ifs. How everything would turn out if the endings were different. All the wrongs I could’ve right. I guess you really affected me in ways I didn’t even realise until i saw myself, and i saw you, and how our definition of happiness is different, it isn’t each other. 


One day I fear I might break in front of you. Not the kinds you’re getting used to, but the kinds which I usually let myself handle the situation. It would be too much for someone other than myself to see how deep I am capable of going into my own head. I’ve always knew I’ve been hard to handle but unfortunately whatever surfaced before was only the tip of the iceberg. There’s more to it that I cannot show. I’m afraid it will only scare you away. 


I believe that my years of excessive overthinking comes with benefits. Probably the only benefit, which is that it has made me so self aware of the things I do or say. Everything actions I take or words I speak up, I think about it too much to the point that I make myself believe that there’s something wrong with it. I’m either doing something wrong or I’ve said something wrong, but I can’t take it back. There are times it’s actually nothing and I’m actually just thinking too much. But there are also times where it hits the spot. What I meant is that I could foresee how people would respond and if it turns out bad, I KNOW it’s myself and I KNOW where I went wrong. I just don’t know how to fix it. 


Looking back at last year, i was so content, so carefree, so oblivious. I hate thinking about it. I hate remembering how I was able to feel that content. I hate how much I long to feel that again but I just can’t. I know why, but I cant say it, I wont admit it. I constantly feel like it’s my fault. It’s my fault i feel this way. I can be happy i just chose to be un happy. I fill my head with lies everyday, telling myself this is only temporary. It is not temporary as long as i keep lying to myself about what’s making me so dreadful. 

I never fail to remind myself of how unready I am for so many things. How I’m still weak for alot of things. There’s so much fixing to do with myself but I can never. I don’t think I can fix myself. There’s too much damaged done. And I don’t even know what caused it in the first place. There was no traumatic childhood, there was no broken first love. The anxiety, the trauma, the paranoia just hit me randomly. 



I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate 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I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself 

What holds you back?
My mental health. My mental health causes all my insecurities and stops me from doing or say what I want. All the opportunities that were presented to me are never achieved because of my mental health.

Five things to do less often.
1. Eat!!
2. Spending money!!
3. Thinking too much :(
4. Obsessing over what one particular person think of me
5. Procrastinating

How have you changed in the past year?
I like to think that I’ve grown in many ways. I guess I think more before taking action, but only with certain people. I’ve also gotten sicker, sadly. I’ve gotten angrier, sadder and so much resentment in me, mostly towards myself. I guess without the right coping mechanism I could really be going down. I also learned to appreciate people more, what it would feel like to lose them. I’ve known the difference between want and need, well, still working on that.

Your playlist right now?
1. BENEE - WISHFUL THINKING
2. JESSIE REYEZ - COFFIN
3. ARIZONA ZERVAS - HOMIES
4. KAASH PAIGE - LOVE SONG REMIX
5. MEGHAN TRAINER - WAVE
6. AUDREY MIKA - Y U GOTTA B LIKE THAT
7. SUMMER WALKER - DRUNK DIALLING
8. FLORENCE + THE MACHINE - KISS WITH A FIST
9. MADISON BEER - SELFISH
10. ALLIE X - DEVIL I KNOW
11. TATE MCRAE - THAT WAY

A few small things that make you happy.
1. Drawing
2. Writing
3. Getting ready
4. The feeling of finishing an assignment
5. A friend who misses me


What are you thankful for?
I could go on about my family or whatever but that would be a bore. Not that Im not, it’s just that at the moment I guess I could say im grateful for my friends. Though im bad at showing it, there are times I kinda stop and think about how much im blessed to have them. They make me feel like there are good things in life, I just have to realise on my own.

Five things I would like to do more.
1. Write more definitely, not only when im sad.
2. Draw/journal more. They make me pretty happy tbh but I tend to get pretty unmotivated.
3. Save money more just because
4. Say I love you more?? weird but it actually makes a difference
5. Discover new music!!! im getting bored with current songs but too lazy to look for new ones

What was the best thing that happened this week?
I got to see him. Always the highlight. Also my birthday is this week.

What is the view from your window right now?
It’s 5:30am and all I can see outside is a bunch of lights and buildings. A condo that isnt even open yet, an abandoned building that foreign workers stay in I guess? I can see the place where holds so much memory, I like that.

Write about something that stresses you.
My mental health stresses me out like legit. My mental health ruin so many things.

i miss you. i miss you so much. i miss being able to tell you literally everything. what i felt, what i didnt. i miss being safe with you. i miss not caring about not having anyone but you. i miss how much i mattered to you as much as you mattered to me. but at one point you decided that had to stop. why did you? why did you had to leave me scarred and traumatized like a three year old boy whose dad had abandoned? why did you have to cause me panic attacks late at night no matter how long this issue has been? why did you have to leave me with unanswered questions and myself to blame?


I really wish I what I mean to you is as much as what you mean to me. The thing is I could never tell you that. I could never tell you a lot of things. I can’t tell you how much I hate myself for feeling this way. I can’t tell you how you’re literally the only person I can trust. I constantly feel sad over that fact that my life revolves around you now. Everything is about you. The minute I wake up, when I’m about to eat, it’s always you. I feel like you’re my only friend and that’s really sad to be honest but what can I do? People around me keeps disappointing me and I end up blaming myself, but you were always there and I guess that could one of the reasons why I rely so much on you. I dread for a future together, where no one gets in the way, not even myself. The idea of not being with you rips my fucking heart apart. I am in so much pain love. But it doesn’t matter when I’m with you. I wasn’t like this I swear. I had so much love for myself back then but I gave all of that to you. I gave everything to you now there’s nothing left of me. But I can’t tell you that. Not that I don’t want to, I just don’t know how. Moments with you felt good. I didn’t see the need to ruin it with how I feel. I just wanted to live in the moment. With you. It’s when I’m alone it gets hard. When you’re not there. My mind takes over my body and everything starts to ache again. It’s neither of us faults but I can’t lie, I never fail to blame myself for not being good enough. For you. 



I felt various kinds of pain. The crying myself to sleep pain, the physically heart aching pain, the emotionally draining pain but I guess this time it’s all of it combined. I’ve showed too much part of myself and I guess the thought of starting over or going through it all over again with someone new just aches. I blame myself. No matter how many times I bury the idea of I deserve better in my brain, I still have myself to blame. 
I am too sick. 
My head is really somewhere i dont want to be at at the moment. 
I never want to be left alone. 
I am at the highest peak of hating myself. 



I was so scared of losing you. Even when I thought I didn’t, I still did. Not being able to talk to you or knowing that you would not talk to me for even a second scared me to the core. My mind started to wander to dark places I didn’t like to be in. Places that had scenarios of us not talking anymore or to scenes that we were walking pass each other but felt like it was just two strangers on Earth trying to get through their day. It hurt me. I am at that point where I’m being so careful of my actions or words, even the smallest ones. One wrong move and I could lose you forever. But in that moment that what felt like losing you, i realised maybe you don’t mind of losing me. You did not feel what I felt. You never did. You would not put everything aside just like what I did for you. Now I just cant figure out which would be a bigger loss, being with or without you. 


I can never say how i truly feel. Part of it probably because there’s too much, i dont know where to start, i dont know how to explain. I feel like im being mentally abused and im so scared. Am i causing it or is someone else? 

Happy Valentines Day Lover
Just like any other day i still wish you happy valentines. To receive love from you on this day is just as special like any other day. Happy valentines to my almost lover. 

I am convinced that each person I have given myself to whole heartedly holds a piece of me.  A piece that I will never be able to get back.  A fragment of myself, of who I once was and who I will never be again.

I met my biggest heartbreak. I’m not there yet but i stared into his eyes. It felt like i made eye contact with death because it felt quite the same. I wanted to beg but I couldn’t open my mouth, i was too overwhelmed. 

At one point I feel like I am forcing myself to feel things. Making myself feel bad for no absolute reason because when I don’t, I’d think of worse things. 

I like you. I really really like you but I’m scared of taking granted of the word people usually use when they really really like someone. And it’s sad that you don’t like me back. I know the reasons why but i wont say it. I need you to say it. To use the excuse we’re friends isn’t valid anymore. We do things that no one usually does in a friendship. 


So so tired of being told the loud one, being told the childish one or the wrong one. But with the right facts, im convinced. I’m convinced in someone else’s stories I’ll be those people or much worse. But what can i do? I have my own version in my story but somehow i can never convince other people. We never truly get to see who’s in the right and who’s in the wrong. Always conflicted. 


I am so angry, so sad, so disappointed. What is wrong with me? What do I do that is constantly so bad it makes people go away? It makes people despise me, even the ones that cared for me turns their back on me. Was I selfish or were they? In my head i try my best to think of the best way to do something but it always turns out bad. I always end up being the bad guy. Was i that evil in my past life or do i just don’t deserve consistent happiness in this life? 


there are days when you feel like the pain is crushing your whole body. and am not talking about the emotional pain, but the physical one, the chronic pain. trust me it's hard. so much that when someone asks you how are you doing, you stare at them with nothing to reply. 
but if you want a bit of hope, remember that you're not that only one going through this, and I have already included you in my mind and prayers. 


so i guess this is when i start to write again, when i dont know what to do or who to say it to. this is the kind of ache that makes my heart beat so fast that my chest physically hurts. 

i have to go. i always wanted to, but apart of me wanted to bring you too. this isn't goodbye, but it isn't exactly "i'll see you soon" either. This is just another door closing. I know this door will disappear and I'll be okay again, waiting for another door to open. But I don't want to close this door, I want to be on the other side. The other side has happiness, laughter and even sadness. But this side, this side is just sadness. 

All the bridges built has crumbled in front of my eyes. The ones I thought that I'll bring along with me to my future, it destroyed before me and there's nothing I can do. 

And then there's you, oh god you. I don't think I'll ever find another you. I'll just be looking for you. But me, you will find another me. 



i have so much negativity in me that i can start feeling it eating me from the inside. i find it hard forgiving someone for something that i've no longer suffer from. i feel like a bad person. a bad person towards everyone else and a bad person towards myself. i see the good people im surrounded with, even the ones i hate, i dont deserve them. but what can i do? its as if im incapable of being someone nice or decent for even a second. 


So much to say, but it just won’t come out. It’s so fucking hard. Daily conversations going on in my head constantly, surreal scenarios, but never to put it out in real life. There’s hate, there’s love, there’s confusion. I keep them to myself. To say them out loud would just be an embarrassment. There would be questions going on in my head. Am I in the right state of mind? Is this the lack of sleep talking? Or do I genuinely feel this way? Should I really say it? But I never do anyways. 


I know I probably won’t send this to you but I’d like to think that I will and you’re aware of this. Every ounce of care and love that I have, it is dedicated to you. You are the best friend, the best lover, the best listener, the best giver that anyone could’ve asked for. You have your flaws that I sometimes would notice, but I would just find myself accepting it as a part of who you are. I find myself loving it much more. I have days that I am unbearable and I apologise. I too apologise if on some stormy days my facial expressions and body language isn’t on the good side. But I promise you I get better day by day. I am ashamed of myself, of my behaviours towards you that hurt you when your only intentions were nothing but purity. I also want to apologise for the days when God was a little bit too harsh on you. It’ll get better, I promise. I wish to be with you forever, to continue our hardships, our good days, together. But I know deep down we won’t get to. And I don’t like being hurt. I’ve never told you this but I’m hurting myself. Every decisions and every sincere efforts that were made for you were only hurting me. I just want to make you happy. It hurts me more to see you sad, hurt or anything synonymous to it. Everything I said to you were never out of lust nor out of sympathy. I just genuinely felt that about you. And then there’s this. 


I've been feeling extra lonely these days, can someone tell me why? I've dealt with this feeling for over a decade now but at the moment it just seems unbearable. I've been craving affection and attention like mad probably because I've been receiving it before and now that I don't, I crave it more and more. It's making me sad as I realise I've been receiving not from the right person. And I'm not sure if I can do anything about it. 
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  • getting better 4
  • infinite fresh starts 6
  • Lists 5
  • MENTAL HEALTH WRITING PROMPTS 1
  • new obsession 1
  • people say it's the best years of your life 9
  • Playlist 11
  • reviews 1
  • ride or die 11
  • spilling my heart out 31
  • things i have to say about myself 26
  • when i don't have things to say 45

Blog Archive

  • ►  2022 (1)
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  • ▼  2020 (32)
    • ▼  Sept 2020 (1)
      • 20th July
    • ►  Jun 2020 (3)
      • At the moment
      • four weeks in, constantly changing but that’s okay
      • 75 days
    • ►  May 2020 (13)
      • Day 63: Greedy or Grateful
      • Day 62, when I no longer need you
      • MENTAL HEALTH: On a scale of 1-10, how peaceful ar...
      • "They were made, perfectly, to love each othe...
      • day 56 of quarantine: I'm okay, until my mind deci...
      • 54 days since i saw my friends
      • One day, inshallah
      • All the wrongs I could’ve right
      • i cannot let me get to you
      • Talent
      • I was so carefree last year
      • too much damaged done
      • not a good time
    • ►  Apr 2020 (3)
      • more questions
      • questions
      • why did you stop
    • ►  Mar 2020 (6)
      • you, again
      • I felt various kinds of pain. The crying myself to...
      • To be with or without
      • Just excerpts
      • Always conflicted
      • I am so angry, so sad, so disappointed. What ...
    • ►  Jan 2020 (6)
      • there are days when you feel like the pain is cru...
      • This is when i start to write again
      • i have so much negativity in me that i can start ...
      • So much to say
      • And then there’s this
      • I’ve been feeling extra lonely
  • ►  2019 (18)
    • ►  Nov 2019 (5)
    • ►  Aug 2019 (2)
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  • ►  2018 (35)
    • ►  Dec 2018 (7)
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    • ►  Feb 2018 (4)
    • ►  Jan 2018 (5)
  • ►  2017 (62)
    • ►  Dec 2017 (1)
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    • ►  May 2017 (22)
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    • ►  Mar 2017 (1)
    • ►  Feb 2017 (6)
  • ►  2016 (26)
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    • ►  Jan 2016 (4)
  • ►  2015 (18)
    • ►  Dec 2015 (18)

About Me

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Popular Posts

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Labels

  • adore you
  • counting days like the stars
  • Excerpt
  • getting better
  • infinite fresh starts
  • Lists
  • MENTAL HEALTH WRITING PROMPTS
  • new obsession
  • people say it's the best years of your life
  • Playlist
  • reviews
  • ride or die
  • spilling my heart out
  • things i have to say about myself
  • when i don't have things to say

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